Album Aficionado Gifts

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

'I see you've got a new single coming out.'

Record department with rock, crossover and classical sections.

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

Ernie's Music. Ernie, you're opening a music store? Yep, I'm going to serve a niche market. I won't be selling CD's or any other digital music. I also won't be selling the old cassette or eight-track tapes. I'm only selling records. I'm catering to audiophiles who appreciate the unique sound quality they deliver. That's great! Are you going to adverties? Yeah, my tagline is "All sales vinyl"

"Mmmm... Let's see... Little cable cars...ah...ah...halfway to the...to the...aha! To the stars! ...I Left My Heart in San Francisco! Tony Bennett! Right?"

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'We've nener had anyone before who laminated their stock certificates and mounted them in an album.'

"This is my cousin Peter. He was an electrician. He never worked on his own house."

Lady of taste

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"Meet the author"

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

Anna Calvi

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

'If only every year was an election year.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"For heaven's sake, Ogden, it's vacation time! Must you make your little lists even on vacation time?"

Orchestra.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Same story every morning - 'Can you come and fix our windmill?'..."

"Toi Toi Toi!"

"The Monster Mash wasn't just about having fun. We were protesting Vietnam."

Driverless cars rage.

"Do you know any other songs besides the theme to The Andy Griffin Show?"

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity."