Airport Security Buff T-Shirts

TSA scans of the stars $100.

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

'Where was the TSA?'

Airport Security.

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Aggression/Security

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

Eurocopa 2016

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

"It's marzipan pigs."

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

TSA

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

"My phone has two step authorization. Facial and Backside recognition"

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

'You're right, good joke, bad timing...'