Airport Security Buff Prints

TSA scans of the stars $100.

UK border controls relaxed.

High security Santa's grotto

Airport Security.

'Where was the TSA?'

"OK, you're good and just the guy we need in security."

"That? It's where I keep all my passwords."

A Little Extra

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

"It's a fantastic computer! It's so old that none of today's hackers know how to hack it!"

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

Aggression/Security

The Best Defense

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

Biro Security

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'It's a foolproof computer network, sir, that no one can break into, not even a kid.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

"O.K., you're good. Next!"

Eurocopa 2016

TSA

"It's marzipan pigs."

Huawei Five-O

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

The International Airline Basketball Tournament

'Arnold, blow the whole depot, then hightail it out of here.'

'Jenkins won the health savings award with his suggestion that we have our employee hernia checks done at the airport by TSA agents.'

"Sure, pat down strangers all day, but I ask for one little hug..."

Beware of dog armed with cloaking device.

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

"My phone has two step authorization. Facial and Backside recognition"