Airplane Antics Fans Pillows

"Just shut up! Can't you see you're interfering with the communication and navigation systems of the plane?"

Airport Security.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

'I'm not taking that money to buy drugs. I'm taking it to pay bribes if I'm caught with my drugs.'

'Then, to stop the spread, they burned the village and sent me home.'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

'Stealth broom.'

"I always end up next to the weirdo!"

Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.

I brake for Jetliners.

"The sniffer dog had found cocaine again."

"Bad news. Our luggage went to the same place my old job did."

Baggage Claim: Anyone Who Knows How To Hot-Wire A Car.

Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.

"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."

"You think you're annoyed? The acoustics in here are terrible!"

I'm sorry, sir, the body scanner doesn't work at the moment. Would you please undress and lie down here?'

"We seem to be out of gas. I'm outa here! See you on the ground."

'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'

Airport Pickups: Mr. Baines, Vinny and Daisy.

"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."

"No luggage."

Santa Security Check

'Damn it! I can never remember which one's the lighter.'

Lost plane keys.

Dog scan.

Obliging as always, Elliot agrees to take a flying leap.

Animals going through security before boarding Noah's Ark.

"What already?"

'Radical snow removal method #23 at the airport.'

"Tower to AVX114. . . I don't think the problem's with your altimeter!"

'When will we be breaking the sound barrier?'

For the chemist on the go: Laptop gas chromatography/mass spectrometer.

"For your comfort, you will be searched by someone of your own level of sexiness."