Airline Safety Trainer T-Shirts

Flight Simulator / Crash Simulator

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

'You know, just because they ask, doesn't mean you have to let them fly.'

'Oops! Sorry! I should've said, 'buckle your seat belts'!'

Sand danger

'I thought we'd never break through those clouds!'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

"You know, son, you're not going to get anywhere just gliding around all the time!"

Red Arrows Rookies

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'Here's another chance to practice our landings.'

'Mr Bluebeard is our safety officer.'

"Look, there's even more buttons and stuff up there."

"Student driver."

'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'

'Just say no to ch-e-e-s-ee!'

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

Airline: Arrivals, Departures, Missing Luggage and Missing Planes.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

"You idiot. How many times have I told you not to text while flying?"

Captain Pointy No.12 - Dangerous pilot

Bev puts on an old favorite

"Student driver"

"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."

'If I was wearing my 'what'?!'

Safety last.

"Phew! I narrowly avoided a near miss!"

'Eject! Eject, eject eject!! Aw crimony. I've hit the button 6 or 7 times, Cap'n. And the darned CD still won't come out.'

'I've got my bandages to protect me!'

Pontius Pilot: "You simpleton!! I said flaps 10 degrees, not 8! One more mistake like that and I'll have you crucified!!"

"It's me. I was going through a 'Bon Jovi Phase.'"

"You know how it goes: Those who can, do, those who can't, teach..."

I don't care if your friend has a flight simulator. You're going to learn to fly on your own.