Airline Critics Mugs

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'Now we know what BA stands for - Bloody Awful!'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Feedback card for lions eating their prey.

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"Thank you for holding. . .Your call is important to us. . .Yeah right."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

'The shareholders are in an uproar; they demand change. Bob, switch seats with Gerald.'

Airline check-in with a bankruptcies update.

"I only have one suitcase, so what's the problem?"

"You have luggage? - Oh, we don't do LUGGAGE any more."

Nothing to Lose But Our Knees

"Would you like a meal, Sir?"

Galley Plane.

"You're in the wrong queue, sir. . . the 'Air-of-entitlement, upgrade-demands' counter, is over there."

"...and we're pleased to offer a complimentary glass of champagne to all those passengers who agree to go quietly in case of overbooking."

Airlines Charge For...Aisle seats, Exit seats, carry-on luggage...

ABC Airplane Food Manufacturing Co: Supplying Lame Jokes To Comedians for 35 Years.

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! My family reunion is in Bermuda this year. But I hate flying. Ever since they started poking and prodding and x-raying and de-shoe-ung us, I swore I'd only go places to which I could drive. Are you using post-9/11 security enhancements as an excuse to avoid spending time with your annoying relatives? Because if so, I salute you. I will not be fondled by the TSA just to watch Aunt Bertha do the Electric Slide.

'Passengers without a driver? Sounds like my local rail operator.'

Central Bank: A Full Service Bank

Excess Baggage: Airlines continue to come up with new add-on charges.

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines, are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

'Strategic rail authority 10 year plan: buy a ticket, wait for the train.'

God redesigns the commuter

Dimly Lit Stations: 'Try a lightbulb.'

'Are you sure this is an upgrade?'

Bag Men

Train Timetable: "If I were you I'd get a car."

'I'm a struggling actor hired by your insurance company. Your policy doesn't cover a real doctor.'

Prison on an airplane

Baggage Claim $25 First Bag.

"I'm 100 per cent satisfied that this is a truly terrible train service."

Basic Economy

"How's this? A refinery in Texas has an infestation of crickets."