Airline Commentator Prints

Prison on an airplane

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

'The recession is over, again.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"Arr, we found your luggage, Captain."

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"It's my helper trout!"

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Fume Leaks on aeroplane - 'Perfume? Drinks? Air?'

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Sir Patrick Moore.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Tree of Public Opinion.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Pundits

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

"Actually, we will replace you."

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Emergency Slide Height Limit.

'Wayne, your turn - Darren needs changing!'

Chess on TV

"This is gonna be great!"

The United States of Amazement

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"