Airbnb Adventurer Pillows

I never asked you, what'd you do with that old shack you bought years ago? Which one? I've bought three. I have a whole portfolio of properties, Randy. Really? Yeah. There's the old shack by the toxic waste dump, there's the cardboard box in an alley in downtown Candorville, and there's that inner tube in the Pacific Ocean. Sad thing is, the way things are going, you're going to make a killing on those someday. You should see what I'm getting for those on AirBnB.

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

Carefree luggage.

Airlines

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

'Those bears are so cute I wish we could have brought them home.'

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

Captain steering house through flood.

'Nobody ever before had took much notice of Granny's homemade flour-sack bloomers.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'We'll take it!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Sorry for the wait. Have you guys been here long?"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

The Professor was a brilliant botanist but a hopeless photographer.

Airport

"Most of the time it's 'Me Tarzan, you Jane', until we get into the bedroom. Then he's all, 'You Tarzan, Me Jane'."

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

I'm carrying a tiki torch for you!

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

'Okay guys - lights out!'

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Your driver will arrive in 4...9...17 minutes after three accidental loops around the airport."

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

Completely out of diapers and facing a seven-hour layover, Marsha happens upon a diaper scalper.

"I'd pack light if it wasn't for the shoes."

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

"Could you have a quick look at my molar? I can't afford a dental x-ray."