
"Excuse me, I just need to raise my arms and expose my bare stomach within about three-quarters of an inch from your face."
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"Excuse me, I just need to raise my arms and expose my bare stomach within about three-quarters of an inch from your face."
'Oh great. Our luggage has been sent to Alpha Centauri.'
Vampire on a plane
"I'll put this device onto flight mode when you put this plane onto flight mode."
'Yep, another set of incisors that are too sharp for security regulations. You'll need to wear a muzzle during the flight, ma'am.'
To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,
'Stealth broom.'
"Flight time is approximately 3 seconds and - I won't lie to you folks - it's a bit choppy up there."
A signaller directing pallbearers
Two birds refuel.
Travel Law #135: Those with window seats are the last to arrive.' People climb over other passengers on an airplane.
How about you? Traveling for work or pleasure?
'Sorry sir, the 'No Steak and Lobster Jokes' sign just came on.'
"Please remove your shoes, realize you forgot to wear socks, accept your fate, and make peace with your god."
Sometimes they need the oxygen mask after they see the new baggage fees.
The first in-flight meal: "Care for some soup?"
"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."
What really killed the dinsaurs.
"Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow your pen."
Grim reaper struggles to get his scythe in the overhead locker of an aeroplane.
'Once you're seated and have safely stowed all carry-ons, we'll start the bidding for seat belts.'
'You've got to admire their candor.'
"No one wants a drink, no one wants a snack...I don't know who I am anymore."
'...Every time he goes on the track we have to notify air traffic control.'
'Welcome to crash-test flight 000. Go ahead and take your seat!'
'Hmm, your luggage seems to have been booked through to India.'
Revealing Airport Security
'God was my co-pilot, but I was distracted by the stewardesses.'
"We get your point about legroom, now please put them back in the cabin"
'What's the best way to get to the nearest Post Office?' 'By Easyjet.'
Lost plane keys.
"It's my first time up!"
ACE Airlines. Ask about our frequent flier bonus plan. I think it's nice of the airlines to give frequent fliers a free ticket to anywhere. They can go get their luggage.
'Is this business class?'
Tranguility Airlines,
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