Ahab Admirer Pillows

"He's about your size. Peg-leg. Seen him?"

'I just read 'Moby Dick'...do you have anymore 'whale hate' literature?'

'A burp or a fart, I can excuse, but throwing up a pellet of fur and bones? That's gross dude!'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

High security Santa's grotto

Elfie Stick

'And when did you have your last owl movement?'

So you're a mocking bird...

Snow Devil

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'I know it's gassy...'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

Bird Torture.

"It started rather well, but then, you sang two wrong notes, so that's a fail in my book. Try again at the next mating season..."

"Migration ruins my 10,000 steps."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

I no longer migrate. It's easier to just telecommute.

Greenfingers.

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'There's too many of us... I'm going to start forming a 'W'.'

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

'I think he's lonely.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

Love

Shrinks in heaven

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Hey, Baby! How would you like to kiss the frog formerly known as 'Prince'?'

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"I'm fascinated by body language."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."