Agoraphobic Adventurer T-Shirts

Agoraphobic's shrine

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"This will be hilarious!"

A private jet takes off

'Bloody streakers - they have a lot to learn.'

Mountain climbers face a closed route.

Shoot For The Moon

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

'I've got a cape. I think I can make it.'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

Evolution Of The Jet Ski

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'This is going to be the best day ever!'

"Are there sharks in the water?"

'I hate the new building inspector. He can smell fear a mile away.'

"Why don't I start you off with the contact information of everyone who's read those menus over the last 14 days?"

"Dad, it's gonna take more than that to scare me."

'Pity you never have learned to sail...'

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"... and you've had this irrational fear that evil clowns were hiding under your bed since you were how old?"

'I don't think my parents are ready for me to come out of the closet just yet.'

'Don't be afraid!...Bobo's just going to fix the teeth a little tighter.'

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

"If only you knew. . ."

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

Agoraphobic Explorer

'Don't worry, Mrs. Shumberg, your son has years of experience doing this. He knows just what he's doing.'

"The British are probably coming, but it's been a busy week and they aren't feeling a hundred per cent and they'll text later."

"Is it okay that I said yes to that costume party?"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."