Aging Gracefully Champion Mugs

Old Karate Master

'So June, do you think we should get a stairlift or just move to a bungalow...because, let's face it, we're getting on and here will come a point...when you won't be able to carry me up the stairs anymore.'

'I'm at the point in life where I don't care about the past, I live in the moment.'

"Seriously, fellas, I can't get up."

'Sure, you get wrinkles...but your eyesight goes, so you can't actually see 'em!'

'I used to live for the moment, but now I'm comfortable waiting 3 to 5 business days.'

'I want some that are past their best for her fiftieth birthday.'

You know you're getting old... when your barber spends more time on your eyebrows and ears than on the hairs on your head.

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Your contents have shifted."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

They try, but those crows can't make noises they used to. The lost caws!

"Awww man. My nuts are so old they're wrinkled." "Tell me about it."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Multi-Generational Books

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I really have to exercise more. I went from yelling 'Fore' in my 20's, to yelling 'Wow' in my 30's, to yelling 'Ow' in my 50's."

'Man...You age great!'

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Signs of Aging: Light headedness, shortening, waxy skin, burn out and hot flashes.

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"We REALLY do get better with age."

Parts Department

"I noticed a few browns."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

"Iggy Pop? More like Iggy Grandpop."

"As the years go by, and my hair recedes, I comb my parting with such sweet sorrow."

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."