Agency Owner T-Shirts

"Actually, my wife inspired me to start the agency. Look, she's the spitting image of Boris Karloff."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

'It's a Joan Biro.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Painting taking root...

Misunderstood artist

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

'When he comes through that door, let's all jump up and give him a big kiss!'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

"It said this 'Spilt Coffee' series afforded her a lifetime of lattes."

"Now this I get."

'Wow, talk about genius!'

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

Art Gallery.

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'What do you suppose he's trying to say?'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

German School

"It's wonderful, darling. It really says Manhattan."

Leaves falling out of a painting.

"I read 'Art News.'"

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."