Age Trickster Pillows

181 yeard old, huh? This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. And that beard! Ha! Nice try, Mr.... Uhh... 'Van Winkle.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

'Your shoe's untied.'

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Some card-game puns

Primitive magician

Candid Camera store.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

Yoyo sheep

'Of course he can do tricks...it's just he's got a bad memory.'

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

"For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer, a fake knife, and a mirrored box with a secret compartment."

Magic Tricks

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

"Better luck next time, kid."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Spiro & Pusho illusionists

Magic Tricks

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

'I don't think you quite grasp our overall motif.'

A dog has inflated the family cats with helium and they are floating on the roof.

He'd attended Julliard and done Shakespeare in the park, and he never thought he'd sink this low, but there were bills to pay, and there weren't that many jobs out there for a bottle of seltzer water.'

"Mom, that magic kit you got me for my birthday, we may have a problem."

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

"It worked as you said Mum! I yelled 'LICE' as soon as the lion approached and he stopped in his tracks to scratch his mane while I escaped!"

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

"Police, this is the wife of Magi the magician, something's happened to him!"

"While you're at it Houdini, try and find the last ten years of my life in there."

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."