Afterwork Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Mr Yomp quickly got the hang of his new laptop.

"I see you have a lot of experience in re-tail. . ."

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"You call this ice?"

'Right, moving on to the housekeeping...'

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'A Fucking Drink'

'If that's Dorothy, we're not here.'

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

David Letterman

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

An expedition to get ice for the party.

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

Tea and Sugar Rationing

'-and what makes YOU so sure my missus is waiting up for me?'

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

How to injury yourself as an adult

'I'm getting a little concerned about Timmy. He hasn't wormed his way out of anything all semester.'

'Let's make this a short meeting. I know we all have expensive homes to go to.'