Afterwork Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm married to my job, and now it wants a trial separation!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

"C'mon, you can do this! Be the sock!"

Mr Yomp quickly got the hang of his new laptop.

'Sorry I am late - have you been waiting long?'

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

"You call this ice?"

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"This is Kevin. Kevin was uncool before uncool was cool."

"Our first order of business will be the new speed bump in the parking lot."

"Mrs. Barnes is to have a complete head-to-toe – she's to be the victim in a bandage-instruction class."

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

'The bar association barred me from going before the bar...So I came to a bar.'

'If that's Dorothy, we're not here.'

'A Fucking Drink'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

"Call a meeting, Miss Pendleton. I want to hear some Corporate Creole."

"Francophobe meet Francophile."

Tea and Sugar Rationing

"My meeting take away was this chair, what did you get?"

'-and what makes YOU so sure my missus is waiting up for me?'

An expedition to get ice for the party.

How to injury yourself as an adult

'Let's make this a short meeting. I know we all have expensive homes to go to.'

"We're running late. Just pick a facial expression already."