Afterlife Humorists Mugs

'Yeah, I tried that once.'

Did dinosaurs go to heaven?

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

"You run into a window, too?"

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Ha! You moron! How did you manage to use all nine of your lives at once?'

"I'll have whatever they're having."

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Special Place in Hell...

'Second fastest gun in the west.'

"Johnson's selling ad space in the tunnel of light."

"Ready? It's your bloopers tape."

"Hey you!. . . Get off of my cloud!"

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'Apparently my ex's idea of heaven was to punch me in the eye.'

"Of course we have unlimited data..."

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

'Well yes. I guess it makes you look taller.'

"It just doesn't have the same panache."

"I meet a lot of women in my work but I'm not good at forming long-lasting relationships."

'I want to be buried in the smoking section!'

"Soul patch. What do you think?"

"Don't you hate that? Now I think of the perfect last words!"

'I didn't know Heaven had another entrance?'

"Murchison is still in denial."

'I led a long and happy life. Twenty business cycles.'

"All right. You can keep it as long as you're on hold, but then you have to turn it in."

'You must be new here. Most of us just hang around in our bathrobes'

'You'll need a username and password to enter...'