After-work Tippler T-Shirts

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"Here's Bill now. I'm not sure where he's been, but I'm guessing it was the Sour Beer Festival."

'Thanks, Sis, but I think it's my turn to leave the stealth tip.'

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

One shandy and two glasses of tap water please.

'This $10,000 bottle of Bordeaux is also a powerful solvent. It entirely dissolved my savings account.'

'This one's called 'Towel stealer'. It's a guest beer.'

Visitor to a Landmark Tavern

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

Tip responsibly

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

'What are you grinning at? It's only 5.30.'

I remember your lousy tip. Enjoy MY trickle-down theory.'

"You can have my doggie bag as a tip."

"I prefer the cheap stuff."

'Time's up, chuckles.'

Ballet Beggar.

5-6 pm: Unhappy hour - mourn the loss of jobs to apps, bots, drones.

"Say, do you have the correct moon-phase?"

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

Joe's Bar: Do your discretionary spending here!

'Switch me to the cheap stuff when I start talking with my W. C. Fields voice.'

'It's sad to see a good dog go bad.'

Traditional ale,Traditional Drunk

'My Beer Expert necklace reports that this IPA is perfect, so why do I need to taste it?'

Harry, I've just had a tip!

"You know this is to solve your problems."

"Am I the only guy at the table who goes back to when this stuff was two hundred and fifty dollars a bottle?"