Afforism Aficionados Pillows

Sign on door of church, "Please do not ask for forgiveness as a smack in the mouth may offend."

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

Tongue in the ear...

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

"Sinead?!"

"I said you should get a remora, not a fedora!"

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

'My other baby is Mercedes'

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

"I don't know how to say this but I've found someone else."

'It's not so bad. There's only a few rules.'

Spice Up Your Conversation - Quote Yourself...

"I'm sure that It's Sicily, Capri, Rome, Genoa and then Barcelona."

"You're not going out dressed like that!"

"They say you're only as old as your face."

"Finally - a faith-based initiative I can embrace."

"She made her hat in rehab."

"Whoah, triple denim!"

Hey, I think you've got my tie!

"Sure, we know how to have a good time up here"

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

I think it's polite to turn off your cell phone on a date. Oh, I agree. That's actually the sound of my ankle monitor.

"Dibs on the tall one!"

How to Meet Sluts.

'I had to install the mirrors for safety reasons.'

New From Apology T-Shirts

Hipster Rope.

In the beginning: Ed thought life was a bowl of cherries...