Afforism Aficionados Pillows

Sign on door of church, "Please do not ask for forgiveness as a smack in the mouth may offend."

"Nobody told me it was a dress down wedding day!"

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

Tongue in the ear...

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

Dolly Varden - 'The Laughing Dolly'

"Sinead?!"

"I said you should get a remora, not a fedora!"

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

Fisherman: 'HOLY MACKEREL!'

"I hope you don't think I'm the kind who would hibernate on the first date."

'It's our fifth date, so I'll take a box of impatience.'

"No darling, there's nothing magical in the air, I just farted"

'Medical researchers discovered that the leading cause of death by aging is due to birthdays.'

"I don't know how to say this but I've found someone else."

Spice Up Your Conversation - Quote Yourself...

"They say you're only as old as your face."

"I'm sure that It's Sicily, Capri, Rome, Genoa and then Barcelona."

"Sure, we know how to have a good time up here"

"You're not going out dressed like that!"

Hey, I think you've got my tie!

"Finally - a faith-based initiative I can embrace."

"She made her hat in rehab."

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

"Whoah, triple denim!"

'I had to install the mirrors for safety reasons.'

"You know what? This new fashion for bare midriffs looks pretty awful on some humans..."

New From Apology T-Shirts

In the beginning: Ed thought life was a bowl of cherries...

Hipster Rope.

'When they said I couldn't take it with me, I immediately had my halo plated with 24-karat gold.'

How to Meet Sluts.