Affectionate Doggy Chef T-Shirts

Homemade dog biscuits.

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Dog Food

"Pretty good dog, huh, Larry?"

"We need to put in more bones."

"For what he is about to receive may the dog be truly thankful."

Dog Chow Mein

"You're spoiling that dog again!"

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

Recipes.

"So, what's it to be, chicken unfit for human consumption, or beef unfit for human consumption?"

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

'Sure, it's a nice buffet, but I can't help thinking it's a bit morbid...'

'Fruits, vegetables, meat, eggs and cooked beans! He gets a better dinner than I do!'

"As a dog he's incredible. As a chef he's just okay."

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?"

Dog Food: Lick & Collect

"The vet said if he's not eating I should warm up his dog food a little.'

'It's the Animal Welfare people about you feeding leftovers to the dog!'

"I need some assistance here."

'See what happens when you let him cook.'

"Generally I recommend chuck, but since your collie has a pedigree...sirloin."

'Let's see... that's one 'last week's leftovers' and two 'third grader's homework', right?'

Cooking shows for dogs

"If we list it now, you could be eating filet mignon every night for the rest of your life!"

"I always add a few breath mints to his food."