Advocate For Inclusive Education Gifts

'How do you know I have a learning disability?- Maybe you have a teaching disability!'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Common Core Family Therapy

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'I didn't get the promotion. The interviews took place in the men's room.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

Girl in Yellow Jumper

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

Another shot heard round the world.

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

Nurse's introduction training - "We don't get the quality of student we used to"

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

Couple

Gold versus Knowledge

"Well yes, I was shorn by the apprentice, but I don't mind really: everybody has to learn somehow..."

End of Affirmative Action

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

"Well, it all depends. Where are these huddled masses coming from?"

Poor vs Rich

Good writing is good thinking

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Man! I wish I'd finished college.'