Advertising Agency Pillows

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

Director/Action Man toy.

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

This Message Has No Content

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Lethal Presentation

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

Creative department

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

The Alpha Seltzer

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."