Advertising Agency Pillows

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Director/Action Man toy.

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

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Lethal Presentation

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Creative department

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

The Alpha Seltzer

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

"So let's roll up our sleeves and show that America still builds the world's greatest advertising."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

'We've re-branded.'