Administrative Duties Gifts

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Storm in the out tray

Do Not Resuscitate

Overworked in the office

Someone who knows apostrophes

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

"At this office no two days are different."

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

Organization is not rocket science!

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Time for More Paperwork

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

'The job calls for a little filing now and then...'

'You're right. Our old safety files have become a safety concern.'

Paperwork No Me Gusta.

Woman holds report: 'This has so many different fonts in it, I thougt it was a ransom note.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

'Miss Carruthers, check and see if we have an extradition treaty with Disneyland.'

'I don't like our new copier, it sliced my report into hundreds of tiny strips.'