Adjunct Pillows

'Do you, Tenured, take this, Untenured, through sickness and health, to have and to hold from this day forward?'

"I love academe. And academe loves me to death. But crap, I'm just not in love."

'I'm not a great fan of tenure, but in my case, my doctor prescribed it, so what could I do?'

Man behind stage to lady about professor with person under podium: 'That's Professor Allen's understudy.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Just be yourself."

In basket-case.

"Morning, all!"

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

'Can he call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Good Luck!

Shake it all about sign on desk

'Fred's Office Supply? I'd like to order a dozen more desk bins and a step-ladder please.'

"Here's some of my work for you to do. It should be a refreshing change...for me."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Call my broker, fax my accountant, and get my groove back."

"....how many kids have we got now?"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

'Thank God it's Friday', thought the watercooler.

"Nihilistic customer service"

InIn by-products.

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

A clerk asking for time off to get married.

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

In - Out - Pending.

Tom Hanks

Not much money, glory, or praise

"Do you have an appointment?"

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

"I've been thinking, but I'm going to stop."

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'