Addiction Pillows

Lady about 'One Date at a Time' Bumpersticker: 'He's trying to stay sober, but he's still a lady's man.'

Codependipity.

"Just think of all the cigarettes I could have smoked."

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

'I'm trying to put my falling off the wagon behind me...'

He was out in no time, with a new outlook and a clean slate.

"You've got no willpower."

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

Television Readers.

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Screen Time vs Book Time

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Well, I finished my summer reading list – now what?

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

Book market

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'Should I file this under fict or faction?'

TV vs Reading

'I see you've managed to cut your coffee consumption in half.'

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

'I see the rebranded mobile methadone project got underway.'

'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

"Joyce Carol Oates seems to have no trouble coming out with book after book."

"Apparently, he had occasional sober periods."

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

Thanks to hypnosis, he quit smoking cold-turkey. Everyone seemed real supportive until he came strutting into work, half-naked, gobbling incoherently.

"Do you ever get to the point where you think if you read another book you'll burst, but you do anyway, and you don't burst?"

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

' I can't drink that..I'm a recovering alcoholic ! '

Trilby - 'A human nightingale'.

'You're meant to take off the old nicotine patches before putting on a new one!'

'I hope you can reform his addiction to computers!'