Adage Analyst Pillows

"If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" is not a nice thing to say.

"Would you relax? They never look up."

A secretary at a desk with a nameplate the says Dot Com.

Turkish Democracy

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

Learn to Be a Critic In The Privacy Of Your Own Home With The Apex Correspondence School Of Criticism!

'The doctors say I have a rare illness that turns people into birds - it's untweetable.'

"This may be Malcolm Gladwell talking, but we were married on the wrong day!"

"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

"We fell for this last time remember..."

It's 10PM. Do you know who is in control of Pakistan's nukes?

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Oh, the usual. They're watching 'American Idol' and I'm watching Americans idle.

Modern Portrait Gallery

"It says 'Click here to enlarge.'"

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

What can I get you, Uncle Mort? An answer. How many countries are we at war with right now? One? … No wait … Two? No wait … Seven? … No wait … oh yeah. The answer is none. If none of them are "declared." Then none of them count as "wars." It's in the Constitution. That's not what the Constitution means!!!

Who's Dead

'He does what he wants - I blame that new manager, Mourinho!'

"I got a tweet from Putin NOT to attack Iran."

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

21st century Safe Sex - protecting against face-recognition software.

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

Red State Football

"I totally meant to do that."

Development in Russia after the Soviet Union...

"I attribute most of my problems in the third grade to the media."

'What's wrong, people? You wanna be sooper-dooper safe, don't you?'

Cyber Fight

"He passed out from apoplectic rage directed at Trump's voter fraud conspiracies."

Economy - 'And this is where you took the day off to watch the cricket.'