Action Movie Enthusiast Gifts

'A page from Sylvester Stallone's newest film script.'

"I do all my own stunts"

Action film for sheep

"It's not you teetering on the high ledge, so why are you mopping your brow."

"Your mind's a blank. No Nicolas Cage movies for at least a month."

Arnold Schwarzenegger

Kiefer Sutherland

Sequester Stallone: Bullet to the Budget.

'Great negotiator... but he watches way too much Jack Bauer.'

Death by stupidity.

Milla Jovovich

Sylvester Stallone

"Oh, great! Here comes the obligatory car chase."

Bambo out to avenge his mother's death.

Uma Thurman

Cluck Norris in 'Missing Egg in Action'.

Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis in 'Wise men 3'.

'What the . . . I'm only insured for cardboard boxes!'

The mission: Impossible burger.

There's nothing awesome to see at the movies these days. What're you talking about? Avengers 2 just came out. I know. It's been out for like an entire weekend. It's old news. The next blockbuster is "Mad Max," and that's not out until the 15th! Hollywood is totally neglecting the entire May 4th-to-May-15th window! That kind of gaping hole is unconscionable. You can always watch "In the Name of My Daughter."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Steve McQueen

"Hugh fans!"

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

THE WICKERMAN (Hollywood style)

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

JAMES BONDING

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'