Accumulated Accent Collector Pillows

"I detect an accent – money?"

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'Bert's dog training.'

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

Cake Free Zone

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

A 'Falling Rock' and a 'Deer Crossing' zone.

"Eat me"

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Say 'eh.'"

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

A watch face with Stonehenge

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

Man falls in water Title: 'Willis was always an overachiever.'

Man see a sign on door of Clayton's Jokes & Gags Shopee - 'Please Use Second Door To The Right'

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Clown to clown on unicycle: 'How does it corner?'

"A haand gel...!?"

'Forget worms. Think fast food.'

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

Bathroom Fairy