Accordion Pillows

'Thank you! This next song I wrote to prove that we accountants DO know how to be 'cool'.'

'Cool!! Your Dad lets you take accordian lessons??!!'

"To be perfectly honest, Pete, I'm not sure it's Clear Channel that's holding us back."

Accordion Duet

Cook in interview explaining she left her last post because her employee did not like her singing

'there are two of them,,,,No, they're not really armed,,,'

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

'They all want to play the star.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

Famous Jewish Blues Singer Series.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"I said slime."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

Wordplay: Gastropod.

Theatre Crowd

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'