Academic Interests Pillows

'Sadly, Chester's attempts to explain his economic theories to mark Carney would come to a quick and abrupt end.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Burning the midnight oil.

Scarcity

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

Modern Major General

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Six Thinking Hats

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

"It's been hell since you went into animation."

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

Burning the midnight oil.

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

Intellectual Property

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

"Finally...school starts next week."

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

A person reading an advanced book, standing on the pile of other books that he's had to read in order to become knowledgable enough to reach/read it.

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Max Weber

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."