Academic Humor Appreciator Pillows

"Oh my goodness. My lecture on John Donne has just been awarded Most Pizzazzy Metaphysical Lecture of the Year."

"His is a thought experiment."

"I've been invited to address a conference of professors of twentieth-century American literature who are sleeping with their students."

Dean's Office. Because you're looking for a fiction writing teacher, I assumed you'd look favorably upon a creatively padded resume.

'I know they're both World reknowned scientists, but your application with references from both your mum and your grandma is highly amusing...'

Center for the Study of the Economic R Word.

'So much for a simple and elegant solution.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'The sound of one hand clapping.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

'The doctor says he's going to have to give you a few more tests...'

An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding as written and as it would have been written if David Hume had invested in a word processor,

Rita's PhD defense wasn't going well."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

David Niven caricature

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

'And in conclusion.'

Peer-reviewed journal publication.

Physicists disputing whether the clock moves backwards or forwards according to season change.

James Joyce.

'Physical or Social Science?'

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

Professor McWit, crushed by an avalanche of Philosophy 101 texts, proves again that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"Dad, the dean has gone over your financial statement, and he doesn't think you're working up to your full potential."

Chaos Theory Conference.

Reviewing a Scientific Paper - Etiquette for References.

'Oh that?... It has nothing to do with the formula; it just makes the whole thing seem less grumpy.'

"Although your discovery is very important, the consensus is that your article about it lacked suspense, and was completely devoid of humor."

Digital TV presents "It's true there really is a channel for everyone"

"Eureka! The key of H!"