Academic Honesty Enthusiasts Pillows

"But copying is the sincerest form of flattery!"

Scarcity

Scientists are sexy

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

Max Weber

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'Does this outfit make me look fat?'

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

"The catch of the day is halibut. The day it was caught was last Tuesday."

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

'At least he's honest.'

'I always ask that you be frank and let your hair down providing, of course, you ever grow any hair to let down.'

'The 'whole truth and nothing but the truth' can be tricky.'

"As a summation of our work it's pretty accurate...apart from the beginning, middle and end of all the words in between!"

Cambridge Dons Researching Gravity.

"It pains me to tell you this, but it ain't broke."

'There'll be a slight delay. The chef is cramming for his nutrition finals.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'

'That's it?'

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Emile Durkheim

'Why honest is the best policy...'

"To be honest we can't afford to be honest."

Introducing Honest Abe Cards

'What does my dad do? Anything Mum tells him.'

"These days, professor it's "T.V. punditry or perish.""

Do I really offend people all the time? You're too honest. People are different from other animals. Other animals like the truth, but people are very touchy. They like their information sugar-coated. Do you see? But what about Dr. Phil? Precisely. He's almost certainly part jungle creature.

Let me guess...you peed on your homework again!

"Since I know you got your book report off the internet, and you know I got my math lesson off the internet, I guess we're even."

'Joe's Junk Food.' 'At least he's honest.'