Academic Advancement T-Shirts

"Just think, Nora, every year we go on to a higher grade at school."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

Ethics exam cheater.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

In basket-case.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Albania and North Macedonia: entrance denied

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Typical Brain Versus Einstein's Brain

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Eternal Student.

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."