Absurd Science Aficionados T-Shirts

"Quick! Call the Nobel Committee!"

"Good" "Bad" "Work on it" "Keep working - maybe it's not as bad as you think it is" "Put it to a committee" "Give up" "Make it worse" "Make it better" "Still a bad idea" "Overthink it" "Throw yourself into a pit of wild badgers" "Throw it away" "Call it done" "Sigh."

Tourists and their Pets.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

A golden Big Boy holding a plate of poop

Glance Exchange

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

"Valet park only"

Fred's new phone plan included unlimited Dada.

"Who's next?"

The Ekert Saga: 'Ah, another week of school begins...might as well try to make the most of it!...You're crampin' my style, Ekert.'

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

'I may not know about DNA, but I sure as hell know about recombinant.'

One way only.

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

"Remember that time I let you steer the boat and we crashed and had to swim here to die? Remember?"

"My Weight Watchers meeting's tonight. I'd better get inside."

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

"It's my helper trout!"

'Let's get a kitty.'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

Breakfast surreal.

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

"I like fountains very much!"

Fish swimming in a pint of beer.

". . . so a duck walks into a . . ."

'You need some stress.'

"Would you describe the pain everyone else causes you as dull and throbbing or sharp like a knife?"

'It's a new medication I'm working on, but the side effects are monsterous.'

"Has it occurred to you one of us might be a mirage?"

Man guarding a written border.

"Bad dog!"