Absurd Art Admirer Gifts

"Dang. Empty. What about the painting? Wouldn't it look great in our den?"

101 uses of a dead cat: sumo diaper.

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

Cactus seats.

The americanisation of vulture.

"Say hello to my little friend."

Optimist

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Zoo: No Hunting.

Had enough of the box.

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

Mythical Family of Four.

Presidential surveillance ass!"

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

"I see you haven't forgotten how to play with your balls, honey." "Thanks."

'I'll raise you, Lazarus...'

"Now that we've fallen in love, I have a confession. I'm not a giraffe—I'm fifty-eight weasels in a trenchcoat."

"Hey, baby. . .! I'veabout got this thing won. . . Wanna come to my victory party?"

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"You inherited an extra toe from your father and didn't pay the inheritance tax on it."

"The Defendant must stop trying to side-step every question the prosecution asks!"

"What a way to go."

"Is it OK if I turn the humidifier up a bit?"

Exhibition for Prisoners

"At first, Dwayne's gymnastic prowess had mesmerized Sarah, but now she longed for more..."

"A man threatens to destroy town with army of turtles after dispute with city hall. Local authorities initiate a shell-ter in place in preparation for the noc-turtle invasion."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Jesus has a Practice Before Raising Lazarus.

Handcuffs.

'The Sadly Insanes do Baghdad.'

"Well, your bloodwork came back very cosmopolitan."

Deer Barber