Abstract Painter Pillows

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

The Art Student.

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

The Artist

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

The DaVinci Code

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

(Camel paintings)

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Painting clouds

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Instructional guide to scribbling

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

Use your imagination.

Unfinished painting of a monster in a lake sits beside the lake with no painter in sight

Painting the Ceiling

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Distractions Of The Great

Wood Stain and Sun Tan Lotion

Horti-Culture

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

'No, Mr. Simmons, your MR images aren't in yet. We have older equipment, which takes a little longer to process.'

The Thought Process.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'