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'It's either very good or very bad.'

"Wentworth, could I take another look at that reorganization plan?"

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

Picasso Jigsaw: There may be more than one solution.

Contractors view yet another 'artist's impression' of the proposed new art gallery.

After three days the curator decided it was probably upside down.

'Abstract art is supposed to look that way.' (A rather smarthy attitude in an art gallery)

"The pink ones are sashimi, and I believe the little yellow ones just fell off the Pollock."

Abstract Art

Jesus Christo

The Abstract, The Modernist, The Avant-Guard.

'This has been a test of the museum's emergency broadcasting system. Had this been a real emergency, you would have been asked to make a donation.'

'I like the frame.'

"The catalogue's no help, it just says 'we haven't a clue either'."

"Matisse now, Pollock later."

Factory-Second Art

"I hope, Reinhardt, that you're not one of those people whose sense of self-worth is defined by their job."

"Miss Crutchfield, have you gone mad?"

Caution: Wet Paint

"Feel better, dear?"

The Cremaster Cycle

"You've got the wrong address, Mac."

"Jackson Pollock's diaper"

"She said it has a blistering fervency that reminds her of a slide."

(Gallerie Martorelli) (Art-Babble spoken here)

Faraway Looks.

"We're looking for something more over-the-couch-ish."

"You should put this on a t-shirt and sell it."

Picasso and one of his favorite models

"It spoke to me."

Lie

The Dolphin

That midnight hour when fleeting memories come home to roost.

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"A 5-year-old could do it."