9-to-5 Survivor Pillows

"Will it be necessary to wake the others?"

'One moment, please.'

'I wanted shorter hours, so he cut my breaks.'

Work Slave

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Every day is Monday." "Except Friday."

Job complaints on road signs.

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

Thinking outside the box.

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

"He's here early and he stays late. I don't know if he's dedicated or just homeless."

'Why do you need an alarm clock'

'I'm telling you, this is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray.'

The week at a glance.

'That's great, Bob, but I was just going to ask if you wanted anything from the deli next door.'

Working from home.

"Miss Caldwell, write twenty letters, make five Xerox copies of each, feed the whole lot into the shredder, and then, if it's five o'clock, you may go home."

Bob gets his walking papers.

"Oh, we never shoot the messenger. But we'd take away his access codes."

"As a matter of fact, you DID catch me at a bad time."

Stop the world. I want to get off again.

"Dear Helen, Freelance works remains lucrative, but stressful."

"I'm just basking in the glow of my not screwing anything up today."

You're lucky you took the buyout. I was downsized.

'Nobody has seen as many employees and CEOs coming and going as you have, Higgins. How long have you worked here now?'

The Gulag Archicubicle.

Monday Morning at 9:02 am

"We really crushed it at that meeting, didn't we?"

'How come your hard days at the office are harder than anyone else's hard days at the office.'

'It's from your boss...he says 'get well or get lost'!'

"I recommend the first thing you do as a new employee is learn to recognize the bosses wife's voice on the phone."

Working from Home

"I'll have what everyone else is having."