Zombie Film Aficionado Gifts

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Zombie standup

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Dead Funny

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"He's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes...like a DOLL'S EYES!!"

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

'It's midnight, do you know where your brain is?'

Zombies.

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

Check zombies.

"I loved the bit where you hid under the seat."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

'Hey, what am I, chopped liver?'

Zombie pet tricks.

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

"Johnson, you're new here, right? Mind if I pick your brain?"

Zombie Problems

Monster Baseball

"Aaaaugh! It's the Zombie Alpacalypse!"

Cloud Cuckoo Land, "Earnest's invite had lied about there being a live band"

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

Pinata Zombies

"I've got the creepiest costume for Halloween! It's an alien-like creature with hypnotic powers...that'll suck your brains out and turn you into a mindless zombie!"

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

'We can always hope he's a zombie.'

Born of the Dead

The Zombie Awakes...

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

'I'm not saying I won't eat left-brained people's brains, but I prefer right.'

"I don't care what you read on your Facebook feed, the Covid vaccine will not turn you into a zombie flesh eaters."