Young Vocalist Mugs

"Tommy, you sang along very nicely, but you didn't knock it out of the park."

Shepherd and eurydice

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

Showbiz Awards

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"If a third grader knows the answer, how much of a problem can it really be?"

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

Lennon and McCartney.

Omara Portuondo

A Fairytale Update

Anna Calvi

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

EWE 2.

"Woke up this morning, someone had nicked my guitar..."

George Michael

"Michael, your father and I are worried that you're awfully young to be singing the blues."

Red Letter Days - A declaration of love in public

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

Fish, singing: 'I'm a sole man..'

Four children playing the flute.

"That is an outrageous slur."

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

'You do a passable Jerry Lewis, but your Frank Sinatra stinks.'

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson.

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

This next song goes out to the girl who stole my heart and my guitar.

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

Freddie Mercury