Yearly Inspections T-Shirts

'Well, that's the last of your citations. See you next year.'

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Well, well, well...'

"It's confusing when everybody has a pointer."

'If sales don't improve incrementally... our business outlook will change excrementally...'

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

Okay, start shouting them in for their annual bonuses.

Flu vaccine.

"And, while there's no reason yet to panic, I think it only prudent that we make preparations to panic."

'I'll review your salary next spring.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

"Your records indicate a great deal of early promise however you've apparently become old and bald."

"It's time for your performance review where I damn you with faint praise."

"Our company is going to embrace cutting edge change...that's why the room is full of old white guys waiting for me to load a motivational video into a VCR."

"Office of quality assurance"

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"So what brings you in today?"

"Let me level with you. I am a lecherous, incompetent, alcoholic, overpaid, sexist senior executive. The company has put me in your way to test your countervailing potential."

"Before we start our wages negotiation talks, the lads would like to congratulate the chairman on his 83% salary increase."

'His next appointment is on the 17th when the clock's little hand is on the two and the big one's on the nine.'

Falling Prices

"Sorry, but it is not negotiable! You have to let Tim clean your teeth twice a day!"

'Don't worry. The first 30 years of being an inspector are the hardest.'

"Your EKG corresponds with the stock market report."

"I have your lab test results. Cut back on your vitamins. You have the healthiest urine I have ever seen."

'As I always say, 'If at first you don't get a passing building inspection report, get mad and tear it up.''

Jeff hated performance reviews.

'Your efforts, and the little Latin quotes you drop into your email, have not gone unrecognized.'

'We value you in ways that cannot be expressed in money.'

"Mitchell will now review the quarterly earnings. Please fasten seat belts and place chairs in upright position."

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."