Year-end Closing T-Shirts

"I'm sorry, Harrigan, But a man's gotta do what a man's accountant says he's gotta do."

In basket-case.

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

21st century water cooler conversations.

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

Work Parfait

'Salaries Manager. No.'

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"Thank you for that summation of the charts."

What My Day Feels Like

Annual profits,

'The good news is, we did as well as expected last quarter. The bad news is, we didn't expect to do too well.'

'I had a thought. Let's scrap everything and start a new fiscal year right now.'

"Whereas we used to display losses in shocking and offensive red, we now display them in warm and comforting toasted almond."

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

"It's time to retire the word 'profit'."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

The Salesman

'These are the end of year figures recollected in tranquility.'

Businessman in suit on beach with financial report and eyes cut out viewing impending storm.

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

'Not bad, Ms. Newborn. But take another crack at it, and this time remember that 'earnings-per-share' is the alter upon which all other numbers are sacrificed.'

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"We've had a major development this year that I'm excited to share with the employees."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Plan 'A', Plan 'B' - "I say we should go with plan 'A', sir."

'Why so tense? First appraisal meeting?'

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Last year we increased sales by 100%.'