Yardage Chaser Pillows

J.D. Vanderhoot and His Trusty 'Big Bertha'.

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

Breakthrough

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"Football is too dangerous, Junior. Why not follow my footsteps in a safe sport - chasing investment yield?"

Strive to win!

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Happy Champion

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

Sports Fan - Whoever's Winning

Sports Memorabilia: Help wanted-losers need not apply.

"I got an A in not being annoying!"

'We're in a hurry.'

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

Finish line extended 20 miles.

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

"Harvey's staying with shoulders."

Bureaucrat Walking his Pet

Bank. 18 month CD 1.0815255645% Paying More digits than any other bank. Interest rates are so low! It's hard to believe this CD has reached maturity --- Just look at how little it's grown! Investing seems extremely risky these days. There's no safe place to get a decent return. They always say investing is a roller coaster. Yeah, but it's not true. On a roller coaster you get back to where you started!

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

Man on motorbike.

'No, Stanley, there isn't any margin of errors on math tests.'

Athlete being chased by a dog.

'It's good to get away from business, where you worry about the bottom line all day!'

'Today, interest rates rose on news that general fear is up, so why not raise interests rates too?'

'He's training for a career in law.'

Tour de France champ Hendrik 'Joop' Zoetemelk

'No, I've never yet broken any swimming records, why do you ask?'

"I can't believe it...a 'B' average on my report card? I'm not that smart! The theories of probability predict it's likely that the school's data system somehow encountered a catastrophic breakdown."

Crowd await return of a round the world yachtsman. PC asks 'Expecting someone, are we?'

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

Elf of the Month

"I don't know what's happening, but lately I've been feeling afraid of my own clothes"