Xenophobia Critic Mugs

"The president has banned the Mexican wave and replaced it with the American wave... Also, empanadas will now only use American jumping-beans."

"Stop worrying, they're just sending us here for processing."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

His & hers towels.

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

Politically Correct Greeting Cards: Totally Blank

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."

Crossing Borders

Non discrimination to Vampires

Pop up begger.

"The school construction budget is so small we can't even afford to build a snowman."

The Life Challenged Zombies.

"Do I take it that we can't be guaranteed your vote in the forthcoming election?"

"He added the computer, TV and cable box. Apparently, sand wasn't enough."

Right now my brother Al is paying a psychiatrist a hundred bucks an hour to hear his troubles, while I'm drinking beer and telling you mine at happy hour prices. Obviously, Al IS the crazy one.

'It just seem excessive, somehow -- buying a big-screen, high-definition TV to watch Geraldo with.'

"And with the amazing scores of 99.95, may I present Roger and Milly Mallard!"

"So we've got the cute Asian and they did the student that was the old out of shape ex military type?"

"Excuse me - could you tell me which recession we are in at the moment?"

"What can I get you?" "An explanation for that dumb reason why Batman and Superman stopped fighting at the end of Batman v Superman." "Would you like that spoiler-filled or spoiler-free?" "Spoiler-filled would be lovely, please." "Ok. Batman did not stop fighting Superman just because both of their moms were named 'Martha.'" "'Martha' was not just a person. In Batman’s nightmares, 'Martha' had come to represent all that was good about him." "When Superman whispered 'Martha,' it did t

London Congestion & Polution Zone - 'What's your problem? I thought Boris was in charge now.'

This house believes that "No Platforming" is not an attack on free speech.

'Don't worry, he's very friendly.'

"You read the exit sign. The eye chart is behind you."

Safety Pin

Blues Music in a Litigious World

Fat Cats and Dogs

"This is not the sleeping beauty I paid good money to see!"

Two women are hosting a radio show called Ask Sadie.

"You in there! This is the Microsoft Police. Throw out your books and come out with your hands up."

"But we make a killing on auto repairs...if we encourage people to fix things themselves first."

Waitrose Vegan Burgers

'Aside from the cockroach, how was everything?'