Worship Service Regular Prints

'For you information, hymns are meant to be sung, not whistled.'

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

That feeling when you know the preacher is talking directly to you.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

How's my sermon. . .

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

R.C.I.A.

"Remember that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of Heaven

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

Applause

"You must forgive me, I seem to have misplaced my spectacles... Does the best man have the ring?"

'Look at all of God's children. Then again, they might be just thousands of tiny, little circles.'

How's my Sermon . . .

When the traditional and contemporary services overlap.

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Regular Sermons - Fire & Brimstone Sermons

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

Come To Church Today and Beat the Christmas Rush.

'Are you putting on your Sunday Best, Felix?'

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

'It helps with reception.'

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

Church: Open Sundays

"We're testing a new virtual reality praise & worship system for the satellite campus."

"The time has come to reflect and ask ourselves... 'what would Jesus tweet?'"

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

'Oh, oh! They're going to give it to us with both barrels!'