Worry Wart T-Shirts

'Am I going to explode?'

Woman in bed with catalogue of worries.

'I've been looking over your medical records.'

"That would be in Aisle Six, the worried-well section."

'What if something terrible should happen and nothing happens to him?'

'Does our car insurance cover us for a bus, a truck and three shop-fronts?'

"Do you have to write down all the things you need to worry about?"

"Well, it seems Cruz has it rough at his house. I wish there was something I could do."

Horses are nervous animals. . .

'Welcome to the paranoia helpline...our lines are currently busy because we're probably all talking about you while you're on hold...did you know that mobile phones have been linked to brain tum...'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

'You have nothing to worry about. You're only imagining you have hypochondria.'

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

'Mya, you'll go nuts worrying about all the things you can do nothing about!'

"Another day, another good chance they'll find something hazardous to my health."

A Hypochondriac's Worst Nightmare

"Calm down! You're such a worryguts...!!"

"Brenda's always been a bit of a worrier."

'I've got a dog and I'm worried that it might catch avian flu from a turkey and develop a new strain of caninebird flu that I might catch!...Have you got something I can take to stop that happening?'

'Your extensive anxiety condition was brought about by worrying about a national health plan.'

'The usual sick notes.'

'I can't sleep for thinking about global warming.'

'But surely if I'm convinced I'm a hypochondriac that makes me one?'

My name's Vanessa. How can I help? - 'I think I've left my fridge door open.' - 'I'll pretend to dispatch somebody to check for you right away.' - 'That's great! Thanks.' - 'OCD premium dial.'

'You're fine.'

'I'm worried about not being worried...'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

"Well, nothing shows up on the tests. Your headaches are probably just stress related."

Man and his dog walk along concerned about what they might've forgotten to do.

Freestyle panic

Now playing at the Insomniaplex

"Blood pressure is fine. Now let me just check your pessimism for the 'Times.' "

Nervous Oral Testing

That party went well.

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"