World Record Enthusiast Mugs

"Call me if it gets any bigger"

Ralph holds the Guiness world record for nosehair!

'Hello, Guinness Book of Records, what's the longest recorded sulk?'

'The human speed endurance record holder is here to see you.'

World Records Office.

'Wow! That's got to be some sort of record!'

"274 meters of bandage - It looks as though you're going to make the Guiness Book of Records, Mr Henderson!"

Spiders all over the place, "Hello, Guiness book of records?"

"Another world record - it must be faster water."

'I love your playing....especially when you stop!'

Music Collector.

'For a brief time I held the world record for the youngest person on earth.'

Guess what he is in the guinness book of records.

'Put the moon up another 10 cm. I'm going for the record!'

It's so frustrating! They always stop acting evil the minute you start recording.

Tube men dancing.

The singular joy of living with a person who routinely glimpses the miraculous in the mundane.

Ban Ki-Moon.

He's the greatest pole vaulter of all time! That's an over-the-top statement.

"No, chasing fifteen cats in one day is not a record. . . unless all of the cats were green."

"Ukrainian legend V.N. Levev performs a flawless clean and jerk of Amy Lucas, world's most self-absorbed waitress."

Horace Dung Beetle- Guinness World Record Holder.

World's Oldest Ball Boy.

'Oldest living turkey? I'll see if we have that category.'

Britain votes no to Syria intervention.

First Upright Piano Pulled to the South Pole.

World record setter Usain Bolt.

Guinness Book of Records

Sadly, Ralph's third attempt at the World Fishbowl Speed Record was also his last.

'The bad news is your luggage is in Budapest. The good news is it now holds the world record for the number of pieces it came off the plane in.'

'I aim to be the first man to cross the Atlantic in a tin bath!'

491 Days Without An Injury

"It's the anti-doping agency. Did you take any banned substances while breaking the world record for number of hours on hold?"

'I wonder if the guinness people would be interested in the world's record for the most time spent on hold.'

Donald Trump