World Aficionado Pillows

"The health of Mr. Putin is very good!"

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

The Selfie

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'Now here's a place I like!'

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

Why Cows Leave Home

Never.....teach your dog to fly.

'Must be the lesser known Easter Egg Island.'

Twister:Rural Social Networking

'We drove 800 miles for this? If I wanted to look at a roomful of dusty bottles, we could have visited your mother.'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

A traveler comments on the red in the sunset. A wine drinker misunderstands, thinking the traveler is referring to the red wine.

"This car is very fast and very expensive. Just how bad is your midlife crisis?"

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

The Airport.

Silvio Berlusconi - The emperors new clothes.

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Sure, this camp has swimming, games, fishing, horseback riding and rock climbing. But, does it have Wi-Fi?"

Hoxton map.

'Business or pleasure?'

'The marvelous thing about a Singles cruise is, if you don't find an interesting man, you can drown your sorrows with interesting food.'

"How come I always get the crying baby right behind me?"

Joan of Arc goes sword shopping.

'Well of course there are no snakes, have you not heard of St Patrick, at all, at all?'

'The travel agent says there's nothing available on the port side. Do you want me to see if she's got anything on the sherry side?'

"My goodness, no! Grandfather would never, ever let us near this!!"