Workplace Policies Mugs

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'No, Stanworth, feeling sick of your job does not qualify you for sick leave.'

"Our health plan pays only for physician assisted suicides!"

'I'm not sure your doctor has grasped the concept of a fit note.'

"Are you sending your people over here to smoke in my doorway?"

'Once more unto the breach...'

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

"Sorry, it's company policy to reject your health claims when you reach age 40."

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"Good boy."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Foreign Markets with Big Barriers

Others will fight for you

US Immigration and Naturalization Service: If you're yearning to breath free...Get Out.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'What's wrong now?'

"I was hoping there'd be no meetings here."

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'Yes, can I help you?'

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

'Bit of a staffing problem, Boss. We haven't got any left.'

'Well, kids, it all started with a massive Federal program to combat global warming....'

'We have a strict don't-ask-don't-tell policy for salaries.'

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Trump leaving

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Think Tank

"Yes, social media's a great way to express your opinions - shame you feel 'ignored and unappreciated by an aloof, faceless boss' - but that's because I haven't a clue who you are or what you do around here!"