Workplace Mediator Gifts

'Your door may be always open, but your mind is always closed.'

'Don't blame yourself, Jenkins... let me do that!'

'Every time we have an argument you've gotta drag the boss into it!'

"If you don't stop being such a fair and responsible employer, then us trade unionists won't be able to justify our existence anymore!"

"In what way do you feel you have been unfairly treated?"

Our Job Steward

"Big raise!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'The toughest things you have to deal with in this job, is feelings and lawyers.'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

Dialogue

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Changing Minds

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"His name is James Tom Dave Jon Lee Robert Glenn Joseph Tony Sam Barnes. We didn't want to hurt any relatives' feelings by not naming him after them."

Collective Psyche

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'