Workplace Management Mugs

'911!'

'We didn't want them getting complacent.'

"Your three o'clock moved to two o'clock, your two o'clock moved to one o'clock, and your one o'clock said you're fired."

Employee Testing

"'Stress management'? I thought the course was about 'delegation'."

"...But how do we get staff to do 12 hours work for 8 hours pay."

'You can only take this so far Ms.Jones.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"Looks like we found the issue."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.